writings while in the hospital
Somewhere between 2, 3 or 4 in the morning. Got up to take a piss but ended up dancing a little bit in the bathroom and serenading ‘A Few Ways to Fuck’ by NOFX (as usual); now I can’t sleep. And I feel awful. Probably because I drank a Mountain Dew with a Starbucks espresso. I knew they were shit…
No wonder my first exposure to the place of business that would fire me for showing up late when I had to open at 4:30 in the morning after walking 3 miles in the dark so I could keep some C.E.O. and his friends artificially happy & rich for serving poor tasting acidic coffee was the crime, murder or robbery back in the 90’s.
“When it came time to throw bricks through that Starbucks window,
You left me all alone. All alone…”
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Sometimes I think there may be a God when something happens that’s so funny you can’t but wonder how it even came about happening.
I was talking to someone earlier about punk rock. He brought up the Dead Kennedys and I asked him if he knew how they broke up. He said, “the other members wanted to put Too Drunk To Fuck on a Nike commercial.” And he said, “No, I think it was Holiday in Cambodia on a Gap commercial.”
I think he may have been right even though he mispronounced Cambodia. / But it could’ve been Holiday in Cambodia on Nike? I don’t know.
And he said, “It’s still a stupid reason to break up.”
“But that’s completely against what the band was about,” was what I said. (I’m on Jello’s side. I refuse to participate in their new following with a new singer specifically for that reason. [even though I bought their In God We Trust Inc. on DVD and I’m not sure who put that out…])
Maybe I’m just being brainwashed as D.K. prophetically said in ‘Stealing People’s Mail’.. “After being caught we’ll be thrown into institutions and come out born-again Christians!”
(…his name was Christian? And some other girl was talking about running over mail boxes with her car and the issue of it being a federal crime was dismissed since she wasn’t reading the mail.)
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Sometimes I’m convinced that everything happens for a reason and that everything is inner connected. But I’m very perplexed at what was the first few things to ever happen to generate all this apparent randomness out of nothing and why I happen to be singing ‘A Pirate’s Life’ by the Vandals 14 times a day.
I’m also pretty convinced that this galaxy is a Twilight Zone kind of joke and actually a precursor to the real Cosmos. And that much better things are going to be happening…
(Concerning that song by the Vandals - Since I’m singing it so much, maybe that’s why is sounds like Dave says ‘Paul’ after performing the song on their live CD ‘Sweatin’ to The Oldies’).
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I think I’ve been meditating so much this year that sometimes I feel like I’m on the brink of insanity.
I may see something that makes me feel like I’m peering into the infiniteness of Ultimate Reality and it looks so beautiful (and then I remember I’ve put maybe up to 300 hours into meditation this year). So if that’s actually happening… Probably explains the really deep introspective trips I’ve had recently. If it’s true Buddha could visually see his past lifetimes after achieving enlightenment, and this kind of stuff is happening… I definitely gotta keep up with the meditation. (It’s not all so much mush mush like I thought it was before. I just hadn’t tried it yet.)
