Psychotic Reaction

“So where are we going?”

“He told me that we go to the end of Cedar Avenue. Then take a left and he’d be standing on the corner by the sewer drain.”

“Dude, we’ve been driving around for like 20 minutes. And we haven’t seen him yet. Fuck it. Let’s just get some burgers. No dime bag is worth this much trouble.”

“It’s only 8:10. He said he’d be there at 8. Let’s just give it another 5 minutes.”

As Ledo and Bobby were circling the block for the 8th time, and coming around the corner; they saw a small figure standing at the corner.

“Is that him?” asked Bobby.

“I don’t think so… that looks too small.”

Their car started slowing down to a halt and driving up to the corner.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Bobby. “That doesn’t even look like the guy we met earlier. He looks like St. Patrick from Lucky Charms.”

Both Ledo and Bobby got out of the car and walked up to the small man standing on the corner.

“Yeah, that’s not him. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Good morning,” said the small man.

“I think you got another few hours until it’s morning. I think it’s like 8 o’clock,” said Ledo.

“Nonsense.” There was a pause. “Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

The little man started to walk away into the darkness. He probably measured at about 4 feet high.

“Do you happen to know where we can get some bud?” asked Bobby.

Ledo and Bobby followed the little man. He suddenly stopped.

“This is it.”

“What is what? and what is happening?”

“This is where we live,” said the little man.

“Where who live?” asked Ledo.

“I go by the name of Chester, but all of my friends call me Chester.”

“My name’s Ledo, and his name’s Bobby.”

“I know,” said the small man.

“How do you know??”

“I don’t.”

The short little man started to strain himself by lifting a large rock on the ground. As he started to lift the rock off the ground, a green luminescent tunnel started to emerge underneath of it.

“Follow me, if you want to know the secrets of life.”

Bobby turned towards Ledo. “I’m not sure if this is such a good idea. Maybe we should stick around out there by the corner. See if that other guy shows up.”

“You have 3 minutes to decide.”

“I don’t know,” said Ledo. He was pondering on the decision.

“I’m just kidding. I’m going down. You can follow me. But if you don’t, could you cover up the tunnel with that rock?”

The little man who called himself Chester jumped into the tunnel. Ledo and Bobby were unsure about what to do.

“He said that we could know the secrets of Life,” said Ledo.

“I don’t give a shit. I know we got at least a joint and a half waiting for us if we don’t go.”

“He’s not showing up. It’s been a half an hour.”

“Fuck!” shouted Bobby as he flung his arms into the air.

Ledo was done hesitating and jumped into the tunnel.

“Holy shit!” said Bobby. “I still got 5 dollars. Maybe I can score a nick bag.” He looked around. “God Dammit.” And he followed.

Bobby covered his nose just in case he was going to be submerged in water at the bottom. “Fuck!” And he jumped in.

The green luminescent glow was quickly followed by a shade of blue, then turquoise, then green again, and then a few seconds of a strobe light effect. Then Bobby landed into a pool that was filled with Styrofoam padding. The fall couldn’t have lasted more than 8 seconds.

“I guess I didn’t have to cover my nose,” he said. Then a blast of cold water hit him from the side. “That’s freezing!.”

Bobby staggered out of the Styrofoam filled pool. It took him awhile.

“So what’s this bullshit?”

“Follow me,” said Chester

“You said that before.”

He started walking down a darkened corridor that was lit by candles suspended on the side of it.

“This is going nowhere,” Bobby muttered to himself.

Towards the end of the corridor, there was a flood of light and what looked like a
different society on the other end of the corridor. Bobby saw what was coming and had a look of excited anticipation on his face.

When Chester, Ledo and Bobby walked out into the other room. There were two guys sitting in chairs. They were watching T.V.

The room had three beds, a couch that looked like it had been picked up at a yard sale, a table that had a scattered deck of cards on it, a small kitchen, a toilet, sink, and a shower; and a small T.V. set that sat by the wall. The two guys looked like they were probably homeless. One had a large, untrimmed beard and long dirty, oily hair. The other a somewhat trimmed goatee and a messy hairdo that also looked dirty and oily.

“What the fuck is this.” said Bobby.

“What are you guys watching?” asked Ledo.

Neither of them answered for a few moments. Then one of them said, “Seinfeld.”

“What a waste of time! I’m outta here!”

“Wait. There could be more happening,” said Ledo.

“I thought you said you know the secrets of Life?!” screamed Bobby at Chester.

“We do.”

“Then what is it?”

“You must wait for the secret meeting.”

“And when is that??”

“After Seinfeld.”

So Chester, Ledo and Bobby sat down at the table waiting for the episode to be over. It took almost a half an hour since they walked in at the beginning of the episode. They didn’t watch it. But Chester insisted on waiting until the two other guys finished watching it before starting the meeting. Bobby was growing impatient and kept walking out of the room until Chester called him back and reminded that the episode was almost over.

One of the guys turned off the TV a few minutes earlier than the end of it.

“I’ve seen it before.” They were both laughing. “How can he take a shower with a garbage disposal in it?”

Chester walked over to the wall and turned out the lights that lit the room. And the whole cave of a room was then lit by two candles. Chester and the two other guys put on dark robes and sunglasses then sat on the floor.

“Please, sit down,” said Chester.

Ledo and Bobby proceeded to sit down on the floor.

Chester turned to one of the other two guys and asked him to start.

“Today is apparently June 8th 1968. But that does not matter because we are living in the precursor to the real creation of the cosmos. This is just pretend and of kicks for the Gods. We are members of the Underground. We practice intoxication and the art of semi transparency.
Chester, will you please close out the meeting?”

“The Sun is orange
the sky is
We are three amigos
where anything is,

Half seen.”

Chester and the two other men rose off the floor. The one guy with the dirty long hair walked over to the refrigerator and brought out a six-pack.

“Let’s get out of here…” said Bobby. “Yep,” said Ledo.

The dirty looking hippie turned to the boys. “If you guys want a brew, we have a lot more in the other room. Chester brews his own beer and grows 19 different strains of pot. We also have our own collection of every type of drug ever available.”

Ledo and Bobby paused in their tracks and turned towards the hippie.

“Do you have acid??” asked Bobby.

“Yeah, but don’t give me any,” said the one with dirty messy hair.

“Why not?”

“Oh, Boss here was dosed with too much LSD back in the 1950’s when the CIA were trying to use it as a secret weapon of espionage.”

“They thought I was a communist and a spy for the USSR … but I only ended up rambling a lot and going on about what Lewis Carroll was really trying to convey in Through the Looking Glass, and all about the different plateaus of our apparently 3 dimensional reality and how everything is actually inside out and upside down because our visual cortex is not yet evolved enough to see things as they actually are. And that blue & yellow are actually the same color.”

“Blue and yellow are the same color??”

“Yeah, but don’t try to find that in any history book. Cause you’re not gonna find it.”