December 2011
1 post
So my friend said to me, “It’s 8 o’clock.”
And I said, “oh really?”
He said, “Sure. It’s 8 o’clock.”
I said, “what do you mean by that?”
He said, “It’s 8 o’clock. That’s what I mean by it.”
And I said, “No. I mean, more precisely. What do you mean by that?”
...
November 2011
10 posts
Story (My Problem Child)
Leroy is walkin and hummin ‘Timmy the Turtle’, then the following happened. “Is that the Mighty Mighty Bosstones that you’re singing?” “No, It’s NoFX.” “I think it’s the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.” “I don’t know. You might be right.” “Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What would you like?” “Do you serve crack?” The guy behind the register hesitated a moment and said, “I don’t think so. But that’s a...
writings while in the hospital
Somewhere between 2, 3 or 4 in the morning. Got up to take a piss but ended up dancing a little bit in the bathroom and serenading ‘A Few Ways to Fuck’ by NOFX (as usual); now I can’t sleep. And I feel awful. Probably because I drank a Mountain Dew with a Starbucks espresso. I knew they were shit… No wonder my first exposure to the place of business that would fire me for showing up late when I...
on the quest for the meaning of life
Well…
I just so happened to be slowing walking down the stairs, moaning, and mumbling ‘go to work wasted’ by NOFX, and upset since I had wasted the night by choosing to watch ‘Paranormal Activity’.
But then I had an obscure thought.
An atheist would probably tell you that they believe in evolution (and I do, but I wouldn’t say I’m an atheist)… If...
DMZ, you’re gonna miss me
not worth reading
“So where are we going?” “He told me that we go to the end of Cedar Avenue. Then take a left and he’d be standing on the corner by the sewer drain.” “Dude, we’ve been driving around for like 20 minutes. And we haven’t seen him yet. Fuck it. Let’s just get some burgers. No dime bag is worth this much trouble.” “It’s only 8:10. He said he’d be there at 8. Let’s just give it another 5 minutes.” As...
Tomorrow I start work at Ledo’s Pizza. Hopefully I’ll walk into a suicide machine.
For maybe about 10 years, I’ve held inside the conviction that the Voodoo Glow Skulls had a song featured on a Taco Bell commercial. Well thanks to my procrastination and boredom - I looked it up on the newly invented internet. (And??..) I was absolutely right! ‘Left for Dead’. They did!
Now they get free Taco Bell for life!
those motherfuckers.
I’ve figured out that pretty much no one wants me around and doesn’t feel like acknowledging my existence. I don’t know why I bother still leaving my facebook page up - I guess in the hope that it’ll change.
Life is really pointless when you’re all by yourself.
(Arthur, the world’s gone and passed you by. don’t ya know it, don’t ya know it.)
October 2011
17 posts
I love taking a shower and getting lost in the waterfall. I think when I grow up I’m gonna put built-in speakers, a screen and a DVD player into the shower. Maybe put a black light into the bathroom to get a real cool luminescent feeling.
There’d be nothing like waking up in the morning to the animated Clerks TV show.
Cause in the shower, that’s where the magic happens…
if 6 was 9
I’d like to figure out an equation or a way of proving that the past is still in existence. I don’t mean in memory; I mean that anything that has been or will be is still lively in existence at this very moment.
I might have misunderstood Quantum Theory at first, or thinking about General Relativity; or I might have just been plain high or in a manic episode. But about a year ago, I...
I think if I drive a car with a head full of mescaline and LSD into a wall, then maybe I’ll get noticed by a girl.
Listen
hanging out in 1966
So I’m walking down the street, movin‘ my feet so they do a zig zag thing. Then I’m back at my place and the phone rings… “Hello” “Sup” “Who’s this?” “This is G Dawg.” “g dAWG?” “Mann… G Dawg. We met at the corner last week.” “Oh yeah. Were you selling bud?” “Yeah.” “Oh. Let me call you back on Saturday. I’ll probably pick up an ounce.” “Cool. Later.” That was my friend, G Dawg. After that I took...
the Rum Diary
So The Rum Diary, by the legendary Dr. Gonzo, is hitting theaters October 28th. I’m pretty excited for this film because Hunter S. Thompson has been my favorite writer for years. In fact, it was reading his book on the Hell Angel’s years ago that inspired me to become a writer. Maybe if it hadn’t been for that, I wouldn’t be spelling out these words beyond my eyes now.
I...
hanging out in pikesville
It was about 4 o’clock; morning time. That’s the time when the Sun comes up, out of the side of the planet.
I was walking down the street, carrying a transistor radio, listening to the Kingsmen’s song ‘Louie Louie’ as it was playing on the radio; pretty good. Not many people know that the drummer says ‘fuck’ in the middle of the song.
All of a sudden a car started to pull up next to me.
“Hey...
The Moneygoround
Hello pretend journal, how are you doing this evening? I’m writing to you tonight in the hope that I can write something daily.
I am kind of exhausted. And I have no idea what to write about. What do people do with these things? And what is the purpose of writing?
I’m reading a book on Quantum Theory. Pretty interesting stuff. Though I haven’t nailed down all these specifics yet - I am...
My Brain Tells My Body
September 2011
2 posts
August 2011
4 posts
An Idea for a Movie
Well I am out of jail. I did 10 months.
And a lot has changed!
At first I went through a bout of depression because I felt uncomfortable with everything around me. But one thing I’m glad I can depend on is my love of punk rock! In high school for some reason I kinda always thought and was afraid that when I hit my 20’s I wouldn’t listen to punk rock as much… that...
So this is how it happened, and this is how I’m gonna lay it to you. Pay attention cause the details go by pretty quick.
You dig deep down, looking for something. Doesn’t matter where. Take your time. You’ll get there. Then you’re done.
That’s how it’s done.
October 2010
1 post
Report for Prestige Worldwide
(only to be read by): Dale and Brendan For the endorsement of> Prestige Worldwide Hello, You have asked me little while ago to write a report for Prestige Worldwide. We met quickly in a meeting last week after Dale had made blueberry pancakes in the kitchen; then we talked in the living room I was a little unsure of what exactly were the specifications for the report, since I hadn’t written...
September 2010
1 post
Captain's Log
I definitely appreciate all the Birthday shout outs on my fb wall. It was totally cool to read such nice things left there for me to read on my Birthday.
I’m finding this hard to articulate, but I do really mean it sincerely – though the situation is kind of hard to express…
Since I got out of jail in June, and actually, ever since then… I’ve found it pretty difficult to contact so many people in...
August 2010
1 post
Jonny Appleseed
If I was to ponder for a while
About such things that make me smile
I would think about sunny days in a park
Walking around before it got dark
(that’s roughly about 6 o’oclock)
Then to the pizza parlor
For a pizza pie and lemonade
With my good friend Jon
, and you might see me drunk and stumbling into a Ping Pong Arcade.
(that’s next to the tables at Sorrentos)
July 2010
9 posts
prehistoric Daze
The year is 4,4668,234,263,002 B.C.E.
“Hey Ren,” says Wendel.
“Sup?”
“Dude, Get this shit. I was working last night, delivering a pizza, when I had to take a left turn… Well, I happened to be holding a drink while I was making the turn at the time. But I couldn’t get a good grip on the steering wheel while holding the drink; I tried making the turn without spilling any of it but what happened...
the lesson
“Hey there, lemon lime cake, you seem to be in a good mood this evening.”
“Sir, it’s because I’ve picked up my clothes from the dry cleaners earlier.”
“Well that’s superb,” replied Benedict, as he poured himself more sugar to his tea.
“The sun is shining,” said the Sun in a sarcastic glow.
“You don’t have to tell us this. We are certainly aware,” said the lemon lime cake to the Sun.
“Nonsense,”...
“Hey, what’s up D.J.?”
This is what Seth said as soon as walking outside the high school cafeteria.
“Nothing. I’m eating lunch,” was his reply.
“Dude, dig this. I’m sitting in Biology class, doodling’ a cartoon on my notebook… then Ms. Rassy tells me I got after school detention!”
“For drawing??”
“Well, the drawing was of an Elephant doing black tar heroin.”
“That’s a bummer, man,”...
story
Benny says to his friend Louie, who is a bartender, “Jay gave me a wheelbarrow with a shovel in it the other day.”
“Oh really?” replied Louie.
“Yep. In exchange for me painting his house.”
“That sounds like a fair deal” he said.
Louie gathered up all the alcoholic containing bottles and shuffled them about. And he poured drinks to the costumers as well. By this time, a young English fellow...
I’ve been away far too long… I do not trust the internet.
It goes through so much in the grapevine already; anything I may even peer at has probably already been seen through another source. And since being in jail for just a month, still I am trailing behind on nearly everything that’s happened in the last few months.
Let me get straight to the point.
I’m currently living at my dad’s place in the...
a poem
Say for the pardon of a minute discretion, I pardoned my shoe to the creases of a reeses. Sunny rays and bloomed flowers portray such shinny incandescent chips on a frito lay. I say to no displeasure, my own enthusiasm of the evening of weathers. It’s nasty outside. And I’m not fond of it. Isn’t nice to relax up down inside a lazy down. Flowing through the bumpy reeses of such tiny pieces. Picks...
Me at the Madison Square Garden
So I says to my friend Meno, “Today is a good day. It’s full of heat.”
He looked up at me. “It is. It’s a bit unbearable.”
“Nonsense. If we were standing directly beneath the sun; would it be unbearable. This is comfort.”
He stepped into the passenger side door of my limousine and we drove away. We happened to be near Central Park this day.
“How is it, the sun shining so?” asks Meno.
“Do you...
a conversation between a friend and I
So he says to me, “I am of disgust at the very thought of your disliking my buttoned-up shirt.”
I replied, “Pal, no one’s going to drink your damned tea or your buttoned shirt.”
“Fine. Think of it that way as you may. But I am displeasured.”
This said Felix the Cat and I as we walked around a pond. He was carrying a green tea in a cup of his and he made these remarks. He had brought it along with...
(1st of) Journal Writings from Jail
6/Sat/2010
I must keep writing to keep my mind from deterioration. As far as I know, there will be a coffee cake accompanying our breakfast tray on Tuesday. - It should be a good day.
Last week I got upset and mistakenly threw a fit when a former cellmate of mine reminded me that I owed him a coffee cake. I riffed and raffed and swore this was not the case! I think the reason I was so upset was...
June 2010
4 posts
At the Love-In
So I seem to have fancied myself into some kind o’ pickle. Seems as though with me getting out of jail, and it being Mid July – my adrenochrome rush of fourteen dollars has burnt down to it’s last butt.
Cigarette, that is.
I feel Lost in Space and stuck on an oblivion Twilight Zone course. I keep spinning the 33 records round and round my turntable at a fiery pace as if Hunter S. Thompson was...
Saga
So it was some time in the future, roughly 467,288 A.D.E. that French Toast lived in a shack next to a lake.
The shack was decent size, but noncomparable to the shack that his friend Waffle (as his name was) lived in across the street. They had known each other for awhile but had just begun to really build a friendship.
“So Mike?” enquired Waffle. “What’s up?”
“Nothin’ really. My VCR has been...
Tuesday Afternoon
A summer breezy night.
The cool icy paved sidewalks glides underneath my feet as I’m pacing to my nearest destination. Cigarette in my hand, and an Iced Tea in a cup filled with ice waiting at home.
I dig the good vibrations from the Cali girls as two smoothly walk by my side, heading east, probably nearer Baltimore.
I try to collect my cool as I’m feeling the warmth of the sun and walk some of...
It was a Friday evening when I walked onto a new tier in the Carroll County Jail; that’s when a fellow by the name of Hollywood says to me, “Hey man, can I have your bagel tomorrow?”
“What? What’s a bagel?” I said. (thinking he was using some kind of jail lingo.)
“Man. The bagel that comes on the tray with breakfast.”
“Oh, yeah… that bagel.” I hesitated. “For what?”
“I’ll give you my...